the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
