I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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