Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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