soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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