Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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