This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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