Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize