Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
