come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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