Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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