Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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