Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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