The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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