there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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