Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
It's just like the Real World with babies
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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