Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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