Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
