The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
