i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
