I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize