marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
