I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
