Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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