ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
