no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
