She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
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He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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