I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
