You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
