So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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