What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
you inspire me to be a worse person
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
