She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
we're so committed to being not committed
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
