Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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