drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The power of my boobs compel you
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
