so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
