it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
