a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
