i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
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