He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I am midnight drunk by noon
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
