I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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