Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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