Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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