Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
