She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize