I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
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currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
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Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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