NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Mom said you looked used
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
