I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
this must be what syphilis tastes like
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I could fuck to npr.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
