You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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