if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
