im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
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