Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
