i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
