life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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