I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The air was thick with penises
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
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