just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
