shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize