He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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