Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
