If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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