We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
