Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
